What would you do?

What would you do if I told you the truth??

(This is meant for only one person. If that person reads these, then they will know its them.)

The real story of our Signs

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If....

If you only had one night to live...

who would you spend it with?

High on life

Well actually I think I am high on cold medicine, that's basically been my life the last 3 days! I have decided I should have been a pot smoker a long time ago hahaha.... told you SP I told you!
So what ever I put in this blog please dont hold it against me haha.... Not exactly in my "right" mind today

So a new song my lil sister happened to point out to me...Thanks Midgit! Kinda scares the shit out of me. Its like basically what I have been saying... Rehab by Rihanna and JT. If you havent seen the music video, watch it! Its Dirty Hot as Midgit says. haha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddh0ESIQoqw

I started Twilight...amazing book...its taking over me. Totally in love with Edward. haha The soundtrack to the movie is pretty good too. I am still working on Book 1 so I havent seen the movie yet. maybe next week. On the soundtrack there is a song called Bella's Lullaby, absolutly love that song. I am not a big fan of classical music, but this is just basically piano music. I love it. I could listen to it all day. I love that the book makes you think.

When you can live forever...what do you live for?

Wikied my Sign

So I kinda stole this idea from another blogger. I went to Wikipedia.org and "wikied" my astrology sign to see if it actually fits me. Here are the most common traits of my astrology sign.

Sagittarius

• Witty conversationalist, humorous
• Freedom loving / free-spirited
• Idealistic / believing
• Moral, often having a religious streak. Righteous.
• Intelligent / intellectual
• Positive / optimistic
• Honest / sincere
• Confident
• Enterprising, ambitious, devoted to their goals.
• Energetic / active
• Versatile
• Adventurous / risk-taking
• Independent / unfettered
• Approachable / warm
• Cheerful / likeable
• Sympathetic / generous
• Temperamental
• Impatient / restless
• Indiscreet, careless. Blunt.
• Impulsive / spontaneous
• Childlike

I am thinking most of that is true! Crazy!!! Now you go do it!

Yikes!

Oh my god....I cant take it....its in my brain and it wont stop. My heart isnt taking no for an answer anymore. It scares me so much. I actually dont know what to do about it. All I do is beat myself up about this, there has to be another way to know if its for real. I mean it wouldnt be there if it wasnt meant to be right? I left. For almost 2 years I havent been around it. But this last month it has been sooooo ever present in my brain and my heart.

Good god I am rambling and you guys have no idea what i am talking about....

What I want...

As a tip from Tabasco's blog, I am going to write about what I want...not gonna lie this could get interesting.

What I want in my life...

• I want to be truely and fully happy
• I want that spark in life, the one that makes you so excited to get up everyday and live life.
• I want a love thats everlasting
• I want all my debt to just wash away
• I want a bigger closet in my room
• I want my degree from Oklahoma State
• I want to lose the last 15 lbs i need to and keep it off
• I want to drive to Stillwater, stop at 116 S. Kings St., throw open the door and apologize for fucking up that night.
• I want a dryer that folds clothes for me. I hate folding.
• I want to be closer to my friend Robbie, we have drifted apart i think.
• I want to quit smoking one of these days.
• I want to be able to stop after two drinks.
• I want that one person to run to me, throw his arms around me and never ever let go.
• I want to make love in the rain.
• I want my family to know how much I love them and I wouldnt have made it through without them.
• I want my sister to achieve everything she wants out of life.
• I want Sugar-Free Vanilla Iced Lattes to become free everywhere in the world.
• I want Colorado to be closer to Michigan.
• I want to go back to those nights of partying on Katie's balcony at OSU or back to 807 S. Jefferson being a total lazy porch monkey.
• I want the new Nickelback cd badly!

Ok so these are definatly not as profound as Sarah's list, but maybe i will update it soon.

Meant To Be?

On of my favorite quotes from OTH is:

"People who are meant to be, always find their way in the end."

Do you think thats true? Do you think if you are truely meant for someone that you will find them? With that being said, what do you feel about soul mates? Have you met yours? Do you know who your soul mate is? I do. Well i feel that i do. I feel I have already met him.

I had an interesting conversation with someone Saturday. It sparked a memory in my brain, well actually it sparked a bunch of old memories, but this one in particular is really weighing on my brain. Go back to that one day, the one day that if you could go back and change anything about it. What would it be? How would you change it? Do you think it would change everything about your future or just that moment in time?

For me...changing that one night would infact change probably everything about my future from that moment on. Had I drank so much that day I think my life could be completely from that day in May '08. I know I am the person that always says things happen for a reason, but this time i would really like to change that moment in my life. To those affected by that day, I am so sorry. There are only 2 people but still, I am so sorry....

P.S. If you read this, and by you I mean one person in particular, you know who you are, and if you feel the same way..."it's always been you."

Music Fun

**STOLEN FROM SARAH!!**
Pick a band and only answer the questions using song titles.

Band or Artist: Nickelback

Are you male or female: Little Friend

Describe yourself: Rockstar!!!

How do you feel about yourself: Feelin' Way to Damn Good

Describe your exboyfriend/girlfriend: Should've Listened

Describe your current boyfriend/girlfriend: Love Will Keep Us Together

Describe how you live: Slow Motion

Describe how you love: Animals

What would you ask for if you had just one wish: How you remind me

Share a few words of Wisdom: Saturday's Alright for Fighting!

Now say goodbye: Good times Gone!

Update

Ok so since I was yelled at by Tabasco, I am updating this. Sorry things have been freakin crazy around me haha.

So here we go...

Nic and I have been together for like over a month now, weird! We went to Frankenmuth this weekend, well Friday night we did for Sweetest Day. Stayed the night there in a way way to nice of a hotel. Went out to dinner. Pampered me like a total princess, it was soooo great!

Mom, dad and i sat down tonight and thought up a bunch of new ideas for Curves, pretty pumped about that! Big Changes!!

Oklahoma State won their Homecoming game this weekend! SOOO wish I could have been in Stillwater this weekend. Would have been way way to much fun.

Oh ya'll need to listen to Eli Young Band's new song Guienivere (sp?) I swear that they wrote it about my friend Sarah Probasco!! It is way to close to all about her. Listen to it today!!

all right there's ur update Sarah!

Smooches

Florida

So I am at the National Curves Convention in Orlando, Florida!

SO PUMPED I AM ON VACATION!!

So glad i got away!

I needed this break....

I will post more later about my trip

Changes

So much has changed in such little time...

People come and go...its an ever changing world. So I have started a new relationship. I have no idea where it will go but we will just see. Still part of my heart is set aside for that one. Who knows if that will ever actually work out tho.

Random random thoughts rolling around in my head right now.... Jason Ewing always told me, don't think it will only get you in trouble! Yeah thats what is going on right now.

Finished the painting i was working on. I will have to take some pics soon. Haven't given it to the person intended yet, haven't really talked to him in weeks. Fuck him! Oops did i say that outloud? Thought I said that in my head. I have been doing that a lot lately, not just about him, about other people too. haha

I have finally reached that moment in my life where Robbie's words have finally sunk in "Remember. You are the ONLY one that can make YOU happy. Do what will make you happy, not other people." I am so sick of trying to please every other person in this damn world. I am going to make myself happy now!!!! Any one that has a problem with that can take it up with the complaint department, they will be open tomorrow. haha

Long time no see

Ok I need to really start buckling down and writing on this blog before i totally forget all about it.

If the rain doesnt stop soon I am pretty sure our cows are going to float away...

I need a vacation. Get the fuck away from here....where should i go?

Every great story, has a beginning...

Its been a ok week so far. Didnt have to work on Monday that was nice, just basically lounged, painted my first painting. I did it for Paige. I think she likes it. It will match her room. Also it was the first episode of Season 6 of ONE TREE HILL!! Love that show. Basically has taken over my life, i think more than Grey's did too, scary! It was a great episode, definatly went the way it was supposed to for me!

Yesterday was hard to come back to work, but had breakfast with Jenna so that was good, we talked alot about this weekend. haha...lots of stories. Not that she wasnt there for like every moment of it haha.

Then in the afternoon I went to give blood, and the f-ers deferred me! That means I can't give blood that day. Well my blood pressure was 160/114. Supposably that is like freakishly high. Like the nurse kept asking me if i felt ok. She was kinda flippin out, so that made me a little concerned. This is like the 3rd time my blood pressure has been that high in like the last month. So I decided that maybe I should talk to my doc about it. So today at 2 i have an appt, we will see how great that goes.

Went for a walk with mom and dad last night. Walked about 4 miles, but the last mile i ran. It felt awesome. Haven't done that in forever. Then when I was done I was like maybe I shouldnt do that with my blood pressure so damn high. haha. So what I need is some rocking music to run to. So if you guys know of anyone that would be great for suggestions.

Got to hang out with the firebug again this weekend. That was good. Seeings I hadn't heard from him like 4-5 days. Boys are ass holes haha but this one has a way of just walking up, leaning down just a lil bit and going Hi Girls, having fun tonight? and my damn heart melts. its ridiculous! Ask Jenna, she will tell you how pathetic I have become. It was nice to actually get to spend some alone time too, we talked about random shit. Still have no idea where the hell we are at, but it doesnt matter, i just have fun being around him. Sara, Jessie, Jenna, and Becky have all said to stop being paranoid he likes me, but who know.....hahahaha ok i will shut up and quit rambling now. But I like him...have no idea how to deal with it....

But then again: "Every great story, has a beginning...."

Whatever.... I do what I want!

So just to get the story straight.

I am a big girl...I can take care of myself.

So please dont tell me who i should and shouldnt be talking to.

I like him, he likes me. Pretty sure you arent going to change my mind about it.

Great Quote

"Someone once said; 'It’s the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me… I just wanna live a life I’m gonna remember. Even if I don’t write it down."

A problem

Ok so I really need to get back into the swing of writing on this thing. Its just been incredibly busy and i have been trying to deal with some issues in my life as of recently.

So my issues....i finally admitted to it, even told my parents, asked them for help, i dont want to live like this anymore.

I have a drinking problem and i need help! I dont want to end up like my nanna, most days she is just a waste of space holding a glass of vodka and ice.

I have no idea how to deal with this but i guess we will get it figured out soon. Also I have decided that i just need to change some aspects of my life. I think I am going to give going back to church a try, maybe. More than likely I will not go back to my church in Wheeler. I hate that place and i hate the way people are at that place. So I maybe looking for a new church.

Also, I have some new things in my life that I am trying my damnest not to screw up, like i usually do. And drinking all the time will not keep them around.

So life for Kayla is going to be a little different in the coming months. We will just have to see how this all pans out.

At some point I may be at my weakest moments in my life, and i know that my friends are strong, lets just hope they are stronger than my issues.

So the winds of change have blown in...

Not gonna lie...I have a new fondness for the Maple Rapids Fire Department...

hahaha, i wonder why? god I am in a great mood today, might be the extra large Latte I had haha

So this weekend should be a blast! SO EXCITED! We have Relay for Life Friday through Saturday, then going out for Jenna's Birthday!!!!!

For those of you that know Jenna, you should have your ass in Mt. P Saturday night. Give me a call and i will let ya know where we are at.

Smooches!

P.S. I hear the golf course calling my name...

Corona and Lime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFf-PdGdRPY

I seriously think everyone should start their day out with this song. It has become my "new fav" song!!

Take the time and jam out a little!

Makes me want a Corona and Lime.


Smooches!

Hellaciously Busy

Good lord this past 30 days has been unreal! I swear it has been basically mach 10 pace since July 1st. First it was the Rodeo Committee, then the Party Down the Pine, and this weekend its Relay for Life. Then two weeks later we have the sale at our house. Crazy ass busy!! But in that time we have been having the time of our lives haha...

Its one of those days...

Its one of those days where if i had a couple of days off i would hop into the car
drive until i got to him, run up to him, kiss him like tomorrow will never come,
and possibly never ever let go.

I want you back... and i really am not taking no for an answer...

just so you know.

She's so Lucky

As one of my fav Brit-Brit songs goes..."She's so lucky, she's a star, but why does she cry cry cry..."

We are all scared of what lies ahead of us. We are all adults now. When did that happen? Our generation has replaced responsibilities and getting jobs done for procrastination, and Myspace surveys have helped us with this. HAHA So since I am supposed to be getting stuff done at work, I thought maybe I would put it off even more.

Are you dating the last boy you talked to? Who was it? No I am not dating anyone.
When is the last time you took a nap? It was a couple weeks ago.
What are you listening to right now? Switchfoot - C'mon C'mon Remix
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Paige
What was on your mind most today? So far I have only been up for about 5 hours. So coffee has been on my mind mostly.
Something that happened today that made you angry? So far nothing.
What are you drinking right now? Sugar-free non-fat, Vanilla Latte
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually keep them inside, until i flip out.
Are you missing someone? Yes more and more every day.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? no everyone
What instant messaging service do you use? Trillian
Would you date/hook up with your brother's best friend? I dont have a brother
Honestly, what do you want more than anything right now? more coffee
What color is your hair?blonde
Who was the last person you hugged?paige this morning
Who was the last person you talked to in person?Judi Snyder
What are you doing tonight? we have a Relay for Life Team Meeting.
Quote a lyric from any song? Should have said no
Are you happy right now? yes
Is your phone beside you? always and forever haha
Are you cold? my feet are a little cold
First thing you do when you wake up? I turn off the alarm and then get in the shower
What is your ringtone?Jolene by Dolly Parton
What do your friends call you?Kay and Kayla
What is your pet's name? Reba
Do you have any siblings? Do you get along? Yes my sister Paige, yes
Would you prefer to date a celebrity?no way to much media
Are you good at keeping secrets?Yes
What kind of a mood are you in? I am great
Do you participate in gym class? A little
What are you doing tomorrow?Working same as every day
First person under 'Z' on your cell phone?Zack
What do you do when your stressed? smoke and drink
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?Nope
Have you ever flirted with a friends crush? Maybe
Last movie you watched?Six Feet Under Season 1
Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes
Do you have any family memebers out of state? where?Yes Illinois, Missouri, other state.
Next vacation?In October
First person to text today?Jenna
What is something that you say a lot? I know right
What is your favorite color?pink
What color are your eyes?blue
Has anyone told you they loved you yet today?Yes Paige
Do you like your parents?I love them
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?Eating.

All you need is one.

At this moment there are 6,709,952,431 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes -- all you need is one.

They are not you..

They aren't, they never have been, never will be.

Jesus, why can't I just get passed all this. I thought I was.

I seriously need to find a new hobby or something, to keep my mind off of all this.

It's always been you...

You know that one? The one that its always been. There's days when you think they have left your brain, or your heart, but they always find a way to creep back in. I have one of those.

Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?

Do you know who you would want standing next to you? I do.

It's always been you.

Losing my V-card to Blogger :)

Sarah "Tabasco" Probasco totally gave me the idea that I should blog too. So since I totally suck at it on Myspace, lets see how much better I can get at it on here.

Might take me a little while to figure out how this whole thing works, so bare with me :)